Sunday, May 27, 2012

"Good Enough" is Okay.

I hate that phrase, "good enough".  It's like telling someone it's okay to not do your best, it's okay if you don't finish, it's okay to fail.  It's not okay to do those things.  You should always try your hardest, do your best, finish your task, succeed.  To be "good enough" is to be half-assed, to not be smart enough, or good enough.  I hate that phrase.

And yet, my therapist keeps using it in our sessions.  She keeps saying it's okay to be a "good enough" parent, daughter, friend, person.  Sometimes I hate my therapist.  But she's right.  I just need to re-define what I think "good enough" means.  So I've decided that for me to be "good enough" is to recognize my short comings and accept what I cannot do.  I cannot cook dinner every day of the week even though I believe that's what a good mother does.

To be "good enough" at cooking for me means to cook 2 or 3 days a week right now.

To be "good enough" at cleaning for me means to give myself 1-2 small chores a day so that I can succeed.

To be "good enough" at life for me means that I have to realize I can't do it all alone anymore....and I certainly can't do as much as I used to.  I'm not that person anymore.

Baby steps are the pathway to success.  Why is it okay for me to help my children succeed like this but it's not okay for me?  So this weekend I have been productive.  I fixed dinner last night, lunch and dinner today.  I even did dishes all weekend (hand washed them whenever there were dishes in the sink so we don't have to use the electricity for the dishwasher), cleaned the kitchen counters, and did the laundry.  Nothing major, I just did a little at a time....and I feel successful and happy and productive.

The chore list is up for tomorrow.  Vic has been helping out with chores and dinners which has been a big help (see, I just have to ask for help...).  She did the chore list for tomorrow for all of us.  My chores are to work on my resume for 20 minutes and read a book for school for 30 minutes.  Her chores are to clean her room for 30 minutes and walk the dog once.  The boys both have to go outside for 30 mins and one feeds the turtle while the other one dusts the living room.  Baby steps for all of us.  I think this could work.

Also, I made some more lists to go around the house and while I was in a hurry, I forgot a word on this list....

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