Monday, November 14, 2011

Eye Contact

I have a problem and apparently this is a big problem if I want to start dating.  I don't make eye contact with people.  I have no idea if someone is interested in me or not because I am not comfortable sharing the briefest of intimate moments with a virtual stranger.  In public, I allow myself veritable glances of delicious female flesh.  Don't look too long, she might catch you!  Heaven forbid, she might actually stare back and ... *gasp* ...smile!!

Yeah, I don't think I could actually handle a situation like that anywhere outside of my head, so I forced myself to do it.  Last Saturday I was working the door at a small fundraising concert and I made myself smile the whole time.  It's not that I wasn't having a good time, it's just that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own little world that all emotion ends up being internal...so I smiled...big...at EVERYONE...especially the women.  I locked eyes with every single woman that walked through that door (and my oh my were there a lot of beautiful women for me to look at), I smiled, and I said hello!  It was hard at first, I kept wanting to resort back into my shy self but how am I ever going to meet anyone if I don't put myself out there....and honestly, offering a smile amid a small moment of shared intimacy really isn't as scary as I thought it would be.

So I smiled, and I looked.  I looked not only as they walked through the door but also as I was scanning the room.  I held gazes when mine were met and I smiled even bigger.  I called them 'sugar', and 'baby', and 'sweetheart' because that's what you do in the South.  I had one blow a kiss at me....twice.

I became even more comfortable with being openly gay.

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