Friday, November 25, 2011

The Big Web of Lesbians!

It's ridiculously late and I'm sure there's some paper avoiding going on...that and I've been waiting for like 6 hours for this silly Sims 3 Expansion to download.  It's really starting to get on my nerves.

I had a pretty easy Turkey Day (even though I don't celebrate it).  Had to make a run to Wally World because I did some rearrainging in the living room and needed a cable for the TV.  Afterwords, I took Aidan to eat dinner at IHOP and he said the darndest thing.  Sometimes he makes me wish I had someone following me around constantly just to record the shit he comes up with.  Maybe one day I'll write it all down for your enjoyment, in the meantime however, you'll just have to be okay with my occasional sharing here.

So here's what happened -

Aidan: "Mom, what if our waitress is a lesbian?"
Me: "What if...wait, do you think I'm attracted to her?"
Aidan: ".....well"
Me:  "Are you attracted to every girl YOU see??"
Aidan: "Pffft ... no"
Me: "....exactly"

Oh I'm sure you know how it is because it's happened to you more times than you can count.  Let's just clear this up.  Just because I like boobs, doesn't mean I want to bury my face into every set I see.  Sometimes, I'm so busy being normal that I don't even realize there's a set of boobs nearby (granted, that doesn't happen very often...but it does happen).

Just because I look at a woman does not mean I want to bed her.  Nor does it mean I find her attractive.  It also doesn't mean I'm going to steal your girlfriend [I'm not that kind of person...(I almost put that I wasn't that kind of lesbian but then I realized I had watched too many episodes of The L Word and I was being very stereotypical)]

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret.  Sometimes gay people do normal, go out to eat with friends, or go grocery shopping, or read a book in a coffee shop, or take their kids to the movie, or go to work, or wash their clothes at the laundry mat...and oh my god....sometimes they even do all this normal stuff without wanting to have sex with everyone in their sexual preference that they lay eyes on!!!

Shocking...I know.  Here's another shocking thing.

Someone new finds out you're gay and they ask if you know their cousin So-and-So who lives on the other coast.  It's aggravating and funny at the same time and it doesn't just happen to gay people.  We crave connections as humans, but just because I'm a clit crusader, doesn't mean I'm gonna know your neighbor's cousin's best friend Rhonda who lives in Alaska (and not just because I've never even been there)!


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